I Couldn't Handle My Anxiety Anymore (My Breaking Point Story)

What My Anxiety Felt Like

I guess I can start off by describing the anxiety feelings I had and all the symptoms of someone who needed shadow work in their life.

To me my anxiety was crippling, especially the social anxiety part.

I didn't feel safe in my own skin.

I was extremely awkward and uncomfortable.

The Confusion

And here was the cruelest part about it, I didn't have a conscious clue about where this anxiety was coming from.

But in hind sight I am now able to see it was stemming from the unresolved issues buried within my subconscious.

All the anxieties I felt were triggers screaming at me to get their attention, kind of like they were screaming for help.

But I couldn't see this in my unawakened state.

I really had to learn the hard way.

Reaching the Breaking Point

It seemed to finally make sense of it all.

Eventually all my anxiety led to a breaking point where it all came to a head.

I remember having a mental meltdown where I could barely continue on as it were.

It reached a boiling point where I had to make a decision.

The Choice

My choices were not very much either.

I continue ignoring my problem which I could not no more or I look directly towards my inner demons and face them head on.

That was my only choice.

It seemed like at the time, well pick your poison right not knowing it was for my better good to face the core of the problems head on.

Following Intuition

I mentioned in the past how my intuition directed me toward the choice of choosing shadow work as my solution.

Call it my higher self or angels directing me however you would call it but it felt like I was helped to choose shadow work as my helper.

Intuition played a big part in it for sure which i am thankful for.

A New Door Opened

This realization also opened a new door of exploration of the mind for me which led to other major discoveries in my life but I wont get into that here at the moment.

I mean I thought well wow if the power of the mind led me to a solution for my biggest problems then what else could the power of the mind do.

This fascinated me and encouraged me to explore other ideas of the mind.

Feeling Different

But back to the anxieties.

Yes they were crippling.

I thought they were so crippling that they made me think I was different from the other kids.

I thought wow how could other kids seem to go on like there wasn't a care in the world and me i was scared of everything it seemed.

Nothing made sense.

Childhood Impact

I remembered being teased for my social anxiety as a kid too which really damaged my self worth at the time.

Kids are observant and can be really cruel indeed.

The Bigger Pattern

So many of us have a troubled past or upbringing and their problems are screaming at them to be noticed also.

The tragic thing about this is that for many people they go on in life not having a clue as to what is really bothering them and they try to drown out that trigger inner conflict with all sorts of “medicine” that only cover up the symptoms.

They never really cure the inner root of the true problem.

Self-Destructive Patterns

These people have all kinds of self destructive behaviors where they are addicted to drug alcohol etc or even compulsive behaviors like gambling also.

It is sad because this pattern is so prevalent in our society today and people don't seem to have a clue how to solve their problems once in a while.

People Are Suffering

This world never taught them how to properly cope with the most important issues it seems but that was all by design anyways if you truly want to go the conspiracy route.

Anyhow the fact remains that people are suffering and are so desperately wanting direction and peace in their lives.

The Truth About Fear

But what is stopping them is what they fear the most and where true peace really lies.

In order to be truly free I believe that people have to face their own shadows or inner demons you could say.

Avoidance vs Facing It

You tell that to most people and the majority would rather run to the next hit or the next bottle i am sorry to say.

Yup people have a tendency to cover up their problems rather than face them head on.

I know because I used to be one of them.

The Turning Point

But for me it changed when I was faced with a situation where i couldnt carry on like everything was ok because I finally realised that everything was not ok.

I was forced with a choice to either change or pretty much lie down and self destruct.

I chose to change.

What Actually Helped Me

And for me the change occurred when I finally stopped ignoring my problems and finally validated the true feelings I suppressed in my childhood.

That was my coping mechanism or drug to cover it up.

But it was costing me heavily with anxiety and self destructive behaviors.

The Result

It's a good thing I chose shadow work because it freed me from the worst of it even though it is still an ongoing journey of healing and it still continues to this day.

But what I am saying is i ve slayed many of my big demons in the process of it.

My Message to You

That is my advice for people today who were wearing my shoes when I was searching.

Have courage to face the inner side of yourself that is screaming at you to be healed and set free.

Yes it takes a lot of courage to face it all head on but at this point for many of us it seems like the only true option there is .

To me it is that important.

Final Thought

I think it's one of the biggest issues if not the biggest issues we face today as a society.

Our inner child is screaming at us collectively to be freed and validated.